I’m afraid.
I am deathly afraid.
|
I’m alone.
I am cold and alone.
|
I find it frustrating to no end now ceaselessly warped and derailed my brain so persistently acts when I try to talk about this. The minutes upon minutes of typing and erasing doing nothing but annoying me and dismantling my train of thought. Not this time. I’ve snatched my imbecilic, irrational, uncoordinated phobia and I’m dumping it and all that makes me pathetic down at your feet. Pathetic. That word that’s always bounced around and been ignored. Pathetic. A blinding truth that I’ve smothered in my misunderstanding of it’s direction. PATHETIC. IS WHAT I AM EVERY TIME I LOOK AWAY IN SHAME OF WHAT I AM. PATHETIC. IS HOW MUCH I’LL CHANGE WHO I AM TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALWAYS BY MY SIDE. PATHETIC. IS HOW SHAKEN WITH FEAR I AM EVERY TIME I EVEN SLIGHTLY IRRITATE OR ANNOY YOU. I’m fucking pathetic. I’m so afraid of being alone that I’ll probably end up chasing away everyone I love from how desperate and weak I truly am.
|
That’s ironic.
bunjoman 